1. Always blame the meter, never, and I do mean never admit that your finger farted !
2. Take credit when It Is given, In these dark early days, post Tiger Woods PGA, you will take much solace from any credit handed out to you.
3. When you do not hit the ping, ( and trust me you will miss ) but you still end up with a reasonable result, claim unequivocally, that you knew the lie of the land !
4. After a disastrous misread of the wind, the following MUST be used " the wind lied ".
5. Please trust and listen intently to those players who have served their time, and have a greater average and are at a higher tier, and therefore by reasonable deduction are in possession of far more *** than you currently are, you can learn a lot from them.
6. When told It's a flop, please do not take this personally, It's also a golf shot !! (probably explains my divorce)
7. After being told to pitch, that does mean we want to hear your latest idea for the next big internet hit, and do not invest !
8. A members bounce Is not an invitation to any woman you playing with !
9. On a personal note, commenting on how sexy a female players avatar Is, Is not a compliment, If and I do mean If, you are into that sort of thing, by which I mean cartoons, guys, there specialist websites out there that will, for a small contribution cater to you every need !
10. Now this Is the most important commandment of all, HAVE FUN.
Helen x