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Re: Who will have the last word .

• craigswan 31,784 Posts

  Mon, Nov 18 2024 3:35 PM

  It’s always darkest before it’s totally black.

  But if the therapists there are like they are here, then they're having the same personal crises as other member's .

• craigswan 31,784 Posts

  Tue, Nov 19 2024 2:10 AM

  Have you tried an alcoholic dessert they call ‘Assassination Custard’.

• craigswan 31,784 Posts

  Tue, Nov 19 2024 2:14 AM

  The simple but grim torture method that has been ranked as 'the worst in history'. ---------- Method . -----

  Step 1: Take the person you do not like and place them within one of the small boats with their arms, legs and head sticking out of the side, secure them in place by inverting the other boat and placing it on top of them, secure the boats together so the person cannot escape.

  Step 2: Mix some of the milk and honey together and force feed it to your victim until they are sick, apply the rest of it to their exposed skin and continue to do this on a daily basis.

  Step 3: Keep turning the person so that they are continually facing the sun and observe as the mixture spread on their skin attracts lots of insects which begin to eat away at them.

  Step 4: Continue applying the milk and honey mixture each day and let the person fester in their own waste and vomit while they continue to be devoured by a swarm of insects day after day and suffer the agonising effects.

  Step 5: Decide whether or not you are going to remove your victim from their torture, even if they may still die, or leave them there for however long it takes for them to perish from being eaten alive by a multitude of minuscule mouths.

• craigswan 31,784 Posts

  Tue, Nov 19 2024 2:28 AM

  My wife complained about my obsession with golf.

  I asked her if it was driving a wedge between us.

• craigswan 31,784 Posts

  Tue, Nov 19 2024 2:31 AM

  I need help writing a sentence using the word “irony.”

  Try this : I licked a golf club and it tasted irony.

• craigswan 31,784 Posts

  Tue, Nov 19 2024 10:58 AM

  Which Golf Ball Colour Is Best? 

  The colours that are most visible and easiest for the human eye to see are typically bright and have a high wavelength. Colours like green and yellow are often the best; some would say they are better than white during daylight hours.

  Green, in particular, falls around 555 nanometers on the spectrum, where the sensitivity of the human eye peaks. This makes it very visible on the golf course, even when it has to contrast with the green grass. 

  Colour golf balls are really good for two reasons – visibility and increased concentration. 

  Outside of that playing with a colour ball is just a matter of personal preference. It’s not going to fly further or spin more simply because you have a coloured golf ball in play.

• craigswan 31,784 Posts

  Tue, Nov 19 2024 11:02 AM

  

• craigswan 31,784 Posts

  Tue, Nov 19 2024 11:08 AM

  Two couples play golf together regularly at their club. On the sixth hole — a par-4 — the second shot into the green calls for an 80-yard carry over water. One of the women, Mrs. Smith, could never carry the water and would always hit into it, totally psyched out by the presence of the water.

  Her friend in the group suggested that she might want to see a hypnotherapist. Rumor had it that being hypnotized could be of help in such a situation. So the woman went to a hypnotherapist for four sessions.

  In those sessions, Mrs. Smith was hypnotized and the therapist would “plant suggestions” that when playing the second shot on the sixth hole Mrs. Smith would not see water, but rather a lush green fairway leading all the way up to the green.

  About six months later, someone at the club asked whatever happened to Mrs. Smith. No one had seen her playing golf at the club for nearly four months.

  “You didn’t hear?” the club member responded. “She drowned in the lake on No. 6!”