Well I did Mr Singing, went to midnight mass at half eleven, there's a misnomer if ever were there one. Well the pews were so packed tightly and I had a kneeling cushion made by a lady who lives in the Alms houses at the top of the village where Terry the Vicar goes at harvest festival with baskets which in them have tins for the needy.
When the offering was taking place I noticed fluff on my jacket which is black so I picked that off before anyone saw, at least to my knowledge and when I inspected it through the processional, I rather thought it was from the feathers of a bird I had hoovered up earlier after the cats brought it to me as a present, I didn't mind that much, but they know me well enough by now to also know I don't eat raw birds overmuch.
So anyway it was lovely warm because of all the people and I was next to a man who played on his ifone which from me received a stern look and eventually I confiscated it what with it being as inappropriate as you can imagine, which was when I noticed he was approaching my top score on tetris, so it's just as well I took it off him and he didn't say a word, but just to be in the spirit of things, I deleted the game anyway, which I thought would teach him a jolly good lesson, and also kept my high score intact, so win-win really. I bet he was thinking to himself " I'm glad I'm not married to her" for which I gave him another withering glance and that shut him up so much so, so that I had to nudge him when it came to the " O Come All Ye Faithful " to get him to sing loud and strongly for the Vicar had asked that we let all of the Village know we were celebrating the birth of Christ which is why he opened the door to let our voices out, at which point the cold sneaked in. Luckily I spoted it creeping at first around my legs, then up in draughty spirals above my knees so I shut the buttons on my Coat and went " Brrrrr chilly " when everyone was taking a breath between the i and ump in triumphant.
This same man during the bit where the Vicar says " And God owns every thing we possess" looked at me and said " He's not getting my Terrys Chocolate Orange " at which I almost but for the sanctity of Church guffawed, I'm glad I didn't because at a distance a guffaw can sometimes sound like a cow breaking wind, and you know, there were people in the Church that I knew and all. This reminded me of Porlock and the fact that a dunghill at a distance sometimes smells like musk, for which I have to thank Samuel Taylor Colerige who said it to his chum William Wordsworth and then I thought " what an odd circumstance for Church " but then there IS a Church at Porlock Hill, so all was well.
All in all it was a suitably holy intervention, and I learned that the last verse of " O Come All Ye Faithful " is only ever sung on this night and I felt privileged to be part of such a special occasion.
Merry Christmas to all then in that case.
Lizzie xx