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Favorite Limericks

• SweetiePie 4,925 Posts

  Thu, Mar 17 2011 9:58 AM

  There once was this man McSweeny, who spilled some Gin on his weenie, just to be couth he added vermouth then slipped his girfriend a Martini

  There was this lady from Brewster, whose ass was so fine that I goosed her, but her panties were thin and my fingers slipped in, now my fingers don't smell like they used to.

  There was this man from Bonair, who was doing his wife on the stair, but the banister broke so he doubled his stroke, and finished her off in mid-air.

  Happy St. Patricks Day to All

  ~SP~ 

• Doublemochaman 2,009 Posts

  Thu, Mar 17 2011 10:36 AM

  There once was a girl from Santa Clarita, I tried to buy her a burrita... she said "buy me a beer"... i said "Good cheer"... and she spilled the brew on her feeta.

• hpurey 11,505 Posts

  Thu, Mar 17 2011 10:44 AM

  There once was a man from Nantuckit.  Who's **** was so long he could.....well you get the picture lol.

• SweetiePie 4,925 Posts

  Thu, Mar 17 2011 11:27 AM

  There was this man O'Doole who had little red spots on his tool, his Doctor a cynic said get out of my clinic and wipe off that lipstick you fool.

• SweetiePie 4,925 Posts

  Thu, Mar 17 2011 1:39 PM

  There once was a farm lad named Durkin who couldn't quit jerkin his gerkin, his Father said Durkin quit jurkin your gerkin your gerkin's for furkin not jerkin. 

• dchallenger 545 Posts

  Thu, Mar 17 2011 2:26 PM

  A near-sighted golfer named 'Lear' was sent to the clink for a year,

  for an action obscene, near the 17th green,

  where a sign read, "ENTER COURSE HERE"

   

   Once, there was a man called 'Dave'  who kept a dead whore in a cave.

  "I'm a bit of a shiit, I must admit, but think of the money I saved!"  

   

  And, of course, there's this fellow from Kent, whose dick, in the middle, was bent.

  To avoid some trouble, he folded it double,

  and instead of coming, He went!

• dchallenger 545 Posts

  Thu, Mar 17 2011 2:39 PM

  Sorry, one more I just came up with:

   

  In a close MPC with Peter, He thought; "I think I can beat her".

  Two feet from the pin, easy 'win' if it's in,

  But suddenly, was raped by the meter!

• SweetiePie 4,925 Posts

  Thu, Mar 17 2011 2:49 PM

  Gotta Love it! More, I hope.

• SweetiePie 4,925 Posts

  Thu, Mar 17 2011 7:01 PM

  There once was this fellow named Larry, whose crotch was ever so hairy, he deceided to trim it, but went past the limit, now the fellows all call him Mary. 

• Yappy22 733 Posts

  Thu, Mar 17 2011 8:09 PM

  SM was a man of means. Who cooked up a big pot of beans When Lizzie said No, He let them all go,down he drain with his hopes and dreams.