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Life the Universe and Women...

• PaulTon 10,731 Posts

  Sun, Oct 9 2016 11:22 AM

  Since Adam met Eve (yes, I know they're fictional) men have been trying and failing to understand women.

  This cartoon makes me think there's a correlation with string theory...

   

               

• Bill19542 169 Posts

  Fri, Oct 14 2016 7:26 AM

  Understanding women doesn't seem to be an option.

  Listen and ignore seems to work most of the time.

  Women think men are psychic hence the "whose that" question every time the phone or the doorbell rings. They also seem to know lots of things that you are thinking but never mention.

  Conclusion - women are aliens

• ct690911 7,205 Posts

  Sat, Oct 15 2016 9:43 AM

  When da missus is "explaining" something to me, in any given sentence she will use a noun, a verb, or an adjective; but never all three (or even 2 of 3). I am continually expected to connect the dots to understand her point...assuming there is one.

  If she is discussing five women or men, she will continually use "she" or "he"; leaving me with a 20% chance of guessing which she or he is being referred to.

  If I ask a question, she will often answer with a question; or answer a different question than was posed. ("What time is it?" elicits "it looks like it might rain")

  After much pondering, I have to agree with Bill's alien theory.

• garyk49 2,331 Posts

  Sat, Oct 15 2016 10:52 AM

  ▲▲▲▲x2

  OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, if the wife's ever read these, you 2 are soooooooooo much in the deep chits.  Make sure you log off and lock up your password.

• ct690911 7,205 Posts

  Sat, Oct 15 2016 11:05 AM

  garyk49:

  ▲▲▲▲x2

  OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, if the wife's ever read these, you 2 are soooooooooo much in the deep chits.  Make sure you log off and lock up your password.

  "You 2"?....Paul started it. We're just expanding a bit on his post. Seemed the polite thing to do, is all.

  You know, supporting a brother.:)

   

• garyk49 2,331 Posts

  Sat, Oct 15 2016 11:39 AM

  ct690911:

  "You 2"?....Paul started it. We're just expanding a bit on his post. Seemed the polite thing to do, is all.

  Yep, don't think his was gonna get him into the deep dark doggy do's.  U 2 on the other hand, I think it was the expanding part.  Well all they would have to do is read.

   

• ct690911 7,205 Posts

  Sat, Oct 15 2016 12:13 PM

  garyk49:

  ct690911:

  "You 2"?....Paul started it. We're just expanding a bit on his post. Seemed the polite thing to do, is all.

  Yep, don't think his was gonna get him into the deep dark doggy do's.  U 2 on the other hand, I think it was the expanding part.  Well all they would have to do is read.

   

  ok..but.what if they are aliens?...we could be in line for a nobel prize or sumpin.

  To wit: 

  "HE may have grappled with some of the biggest questions about the universe, but Professor Stephen Hawking has revealed the one "mystery" that still intrigues him the most is WOMEN."

  btw: Hawking is considered the world's foremost authority on astrophysics. Aliens !!!.

  Edit: No offense to Prof Hawking, but who better to unravel the mystery of the female brain, than the collective IQ of the male forum posters?  Hell, Mike Stroke could probably do it by himself..:)

• alanti 10,564 Posts

  Sat, Oct 15 2016 2:22 PM

  Hmmm contentious topic, but here goes with a slightly different perspective.

  No I cannot say I can understand womens thought processing all the time, but often this puts us men to shame.

  I have worked with some women (underrepresented in many fields) and they have been every bit as good as their male counterparts, especially under pressure. They certainly were not on a different plane.

  Therefore it would be easy to turn this on its head - do women understand mens sometimes Neanderthal ways?

  Sometimes men do not understand simple instructions....or we choose to ignore as we are caught up in our own little worlds.

  Just adding another dimension......lol

• ct690911 7,205 Posts

  Sat, Oct 15 2016 2:37 PM

  Studies have apparently shown that a woman uses 7 words for every one word a man uses. I'm not certain if a man's grunting, farting or burping is included in this ratio. 

  While not exactly words, they do have a certain phonetic quality, and are universally understood.:)

  EDIT: I just finished dinner. I ate all of it because it was good. The missus came out, looked at my empty plate and asked "So hun, how was your dinner tonight?". I thought the fact my plate was empty would be self explanatory...but I obliged her by saying "fine". (7 words to one).

  btw, when a guy says "fine", it means, well, fine. When a female says fine...not good news.

   

• Romax 1,876 Posts

  Sun, Oct 16 2016 8:34 AM

  The simple short answer......   ;)

   

  

  Edit : For the record....I am not degrading women in any way, such as some of the following posts do. It was just a truthful look at the cold  hard reality of life. ;)