opyeuclid:
pmm711: So since you're not sure what's living under your couch you'll have to approach it slowly with something extremely enticing...since you're in the USA use the universal favorite food...a french fry...
Dear Pabby .
Wanting not to end up in the green room ( I was a child of the late 60s early 70s and prefur the black light ) I went is search of french fyies , stoped at McDougles and on the way home I ate a few , They must have changed the fryin oil to one of them healthy ones cause the fries tasted like **** . So not wanting to piss of what ever lives under the couch with **** tasting fries I went to burger queen and got some and onion rings , Made sure I tasted them also and they were better , But wanting to make sure I stopped at several other fast food joints , After tasting all them fries I was full to the gills , I made one last stop at a little bar to have a beer or two to get my courge up . 1or 2 turned into 12 and and I was ready to take on any thing , I tasted all the cold fries one last time and that didnt go well , Mixing cold fries and two many beers caused me to get sick in the drive way and toss guts up . then things went light out .
I woke up in the back yard the next day and was not going to offer day old fries to what ever lives under the couch with the head pounding ,
Long story short , Took some asprin and a shower went to Toys be Us and got a new box of crayons .
OPY
OPY-wan Kenobi,
I was quite impressed by your fortitude in searching for the perfect "enticer". The little bar was also an excellent idea...been there done that. I have a saying when it comes to drinking, "One's a plenty, two's too many, three's not half enough". I see you and I agree on that note...LOL
Now I still have a question...did you check for A BEAST? What if there is one under that couch of yours?
Sure your Yancy/alien coloring is back on track but I'm going to worry about you until we know your feet are safe should you want to sit down on that couch with that adult coloring book of yours.
I think you need an alternative plan since buying fries seemed to test your ability to stay focused on the task at hand. I think you should buy one of those $75 flashlights from those infomercials...you know the TacLight from Bell&Howell...the one with the beam that can be seen from outer space. (also known as a Yancy Spotter). You know...one of these...
. 
****IMPORTANT NOTE**** Please do the BOGO (buy 1 get 1) deal and send me the free one since I'm helping you on this issue. PM me for my address.
Now...when your shipment arrives...Turn off your lights in that room and with that TacLight you can lie down on your floor way across from the couch and shine that spotlight under there to see if just the 2 pieces of crayon are under there. Shine all over...from one end to the other and back and forth a few times. Change speeds of your swiping arm movement as creatures who do live under couches tend to be fast. You must ensure you do this step diligently. If you happen to spot a stray pair of panties, bud of weed, etc. those things are OK. Don't ley Yancy's beliefs of silk & sticky buds being from the dark side alarm you. He's wrong...trust me on this one. If all is clear then please let me know ASAP. I won't be able to sleep until I know all has been given the A-OK from you.
But, if you see two glowing objects staring back at you...something similar to this...
well...your in deep chit. Vacate the premises at once and go back to the initial plan and go get some french fries. REPEAT...Vacate the premises at once and go back to the initial plan and go get some french fries. DO NOT PASS GO...DO NOT COLLECT $200. Get the F%$^%#^ out of there.
I hope to hear an update PRONTO.
Good Luck! (with getting expedited shipping on those TacLights for less than 3 times the cost of the flashlights themselves)
Pabby