I’m compiling a list of these for a fun presentation I have to do in work at Christmas, and would appreciate any contributions people could give me. Let me give you a couple of examples:
A really turgid and angst-ridden play with only two characters (husband and wife), sitting in their kitchen doing a lot of soul-searching and hand-wringing. After about 2 hours, a doorbell was heard to ring, and a member of the now bored stiff audience shouted out, ‘Whoever it is, let them in!’
A particularly bad theatrical production of The Diary of Anne Frank. Lousy cast, terrible acting etc. Towards the end, when the Nazi storm troopers arrived, one wag in the audience advised, ‘She’s in the attic!’
And lastly, an old favourite that some of you may be familiar with.
The notorious Glasgow Empire in the 1960’s. A comedy double-act called Mike and Bernie Winters who were quite popular at the time for some reason. Mike (the straight one) often used to come on the stage on his own at the start of the show, and his brother would join him after a couple of minutes to a rapturous ovation (in theory!). On this occasion Mike had been going through his usual song and dance routine to a deafening silence, and despite all his best efforts the audience were starting to turn ugly.
Bernie thought he’d better get on quick so put his head through the curtains and pulled a funny face at the audience, as he always did. This was met with an excruciating silence, broken only by a lone voice from the shadows, ‘Oh my God, there’s two of them!’
Needless to say, Mike and Bernie never played Glasgow again.
All absolutely true, apparently. Anyone got any more?
Sean