Well I wish you a wonderful Monday from beautiful Maryland. I spent way to much idle time pondering your mysterious loss of nutritional samies. My razor intellect has been piqued regarding your unfortunate loss. After much consideration I have come to only two possible solutions to your misery. The first; after leaving your Mum and Dad's, ( no doubt comfy, splendid and charming country cottage. See " The Holiday ") you placed one of the aforementioned samies on the top of your car. The result of course was the unfortunate ending of the samies intended gastrointestinal fate. The poor samie suffered the ignominious ending of either flopping off your car laying unrequited in a puddle of goop roadside. Or some undeserving beasty ravaged your samie for it's own glutinous vice.
The second scenario is far more insidious. Dare I say, horrific for your mind to consider. The shuttering revelation is ....... " It was your Father !!!!! ". ( Que reality shattering and overly dramatic music here ) Yes! you heard me. Don't turn away. Let's face this horror together. Your father, having to watch painfully time after time, year after year, your mum's careful almost doddeling attention to your samies. All the while his lonely suffering going unnoticed, dare I say completely disregarded. Imagine his immense suffering as his hunger, his soul being completely set aside like an overly saturated kleenex. " ENOUGH! ENOUGH!" he must have proclaimed. Of course quietly to himself. After caring for her offspring, your mother went to the other room to finish her packing. Your father, slowly .... cunningly moves closer to the offending samies. He SNATCHES one of the vile samies! He no doubt skulks off to some dark corner of the house to satisfy his nefarious purpose. " NO MORE! NO MORE! will my hunger go unrequited and disregarded." He ravages the samie like a ravenous beast. Sneering through samie filled bicuspids. Knowing all along the pain you will feel, indeed as he has suffered for all these years. " Where is my fourth samie? " she will tearfully ponder. " I ATE IT DEAR LIZZIE! ME! YOUR FATHER!" He no doubt wiped his maw, covered the remaining samies. Dastardly disguising his ruthless deed.
Go ahead and take a moment. We all understand. You will recover from this tragedy and dare I say, we all of us, your WGT family are here for you.
Be well dear Lizzie..... be well.