O M G. Round Three.
Have just finished a Brainstorming Session with my Support Team and they have come up with a Plan of Attack as we head into Round 3 at the Pinehurst " Ice Rink.
Firstly to be mentally prepared and tuned in to what lies ahead it is suggested to read "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" and the "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy". These 2 books should cover most hurdles that may present themselves.
Secondly, Golfing Aids.
1 x Bottle " Butterscotch Schnapps " and a "Shot Glass "
1 x Bottle " Valium "
1 x "Funny Hat or Cap " ( I will be wearing my Mickey Mouse Ears ) and a Mirror
2 x Shackles ( 1 for each ankle, Attached to computer chair legs. ) This will help when you feel like running away or causing self inflicted injuries.
The Plan is simple.
2 x Valium before Tee Off, I x shot of Schnapps whenever your lucky enough to land and stay on a green. Prior to each shot have a look at yourself in the Mirror and remember there are other lunatics having a go at this as well,
Green Speed will be a bit of a problem, but, we have come up with the following formula.
Distance divided by height multiplied by " 42 " divided again by your Birth date and Shoe size. This should get you pretty close if the "Earth Tilt and Gravity " are playing fair.
Hope I've been of some help and good luck in Round 3. ( As If, your gunna need luck )