A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says,why the Long face !
An older man walks into a bar wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and phony beard. As he sits down the barkeep asks him, going to a party ? " Yep, I'm supposed to go as my love life". " But you look like Abe Lincoln ". " That's right. My last four scores were seven years ago ".
Boss : Who said that just because i tried to kiss you at the Christmas party, you could neglect your work around here ? Secretary : My lawyer.
What do you call a lawyer who does not know the law. A judge.