Dude... I know exactly what you are saying.. I have dinged perfect shots where I was yelling "get in the hole", and they came off as a dead shank ..20 yds right and 10 yds short of the hole...it's frustrating..
On the other hand, I have also hit some pretty damn bad shots that ended up stiff to the flag..
You gotta take the good with the bad I suppose..
Regarding losing a ball on one of those VEM shots, it really sucks.. I'm on a fixed income and I can't really afford to buy balls, but I do it anyway cause I love this game.. I'd prefer to lose money and balls on my own accord (and I'm quite good at that), not because of a program script designed to level the playing field..