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Dear Pabby

• JDGHOST 6,890 Posts

  Sat, Oct 23 2021 2:05 AM

  craigswan:

  

  I Pose an even TOUGHER question Craig...

  In your detailed hypothetical scenario.. Substitute your puppy for a sin free toldler and Shakespeare for the last remaining copy of The Holy Bible?  

• craigswan 32,015 Posts

  Sat, Oct 23 2021 3:28 AM

  Dear pabby ,

  In Queen's overly cheerful 1979 classic "Don't Stop Me Now", Freddie Mercury confidently sings "I'm travelling at the speed of light". According to Einstein's theory of relativity, this would require an infinite amount of energy and would give Mr Mercury an infinite mass, at which point he would certainly perish.

  In the same verse, he sings that he is "burning through the sky [at] 200 degrees". This appears to contradict the other statement about his velocity, as he would certainly be much hotter than that if he was travelling anything close to the speed of light, particularly if it was through a non-vacuum medium such as the Earth's atmosphere - "the sky"..

  Even if his acceleration only warmed him to 200 degrees, it would still be perilous, no matter which scale is used - in the Kelvin scale, 200 degrees is too cold! In the next line we are meant to infer he is using the Fahrenheit scale. At such a temperature he would certainly perish.

  Why couldn't Freddie Mercury ask his physicist bandmate Brian May for advice before writing such an unscientific song?

   

• craigswan 32,015 Posts

  Sat, Oct 23 2021 3:43 AM

  Dear pabby ,

  I was dropped on my head by the midwife as a baby and consequently cannot make any decisions and have no moral fibre..

  I can't tell right from wrong  , I am dishonest and selfish and frequently accidentally wear my jacket inside out.

  I have an appointment with the Career Adviser at school tomorrow and would like to ask about a career..

  Is a political career the right one for me .

  Democrat or republican .

  Or maybe join the police force .

  Which should I choose?

  My school was harvard so i am leaning too donald trump or joe biden .

• pmm711 5,719 Posts

  Sat, Oct 23 2021 6:14 AM

  craigswan:

  Dear pabby ,

  In Queen's overly cheerful 1979 classic "Don't Stop Me Now", Freddie Mercury confidently sings "I'm travelling at the speed of light". According to Einstein's theory of relativity, this would require an infinite amount of energy and would give Mr Mercury an infinite mass, at which point he would certainly perish.

  In the same verse, he sings that he is "burning through the sky [at] 200 degrees". This appears to contradict the other statement about his velocity, as he would certainly be much hotter than that if he was travelling anything close to the speed of light, particularly if it was through a non-vacuum medium such as the Earth's atmosphere - "the sky"..

  Even if his acceleration only warmed him to 200 degrees, it would still be perilous, no matter which scale is used - in the Kelvin scale, 200 degrees is too cold! In the next line we are meant to infer he is using the Fahrenheit scale. At such a temperature he would certainly perish.

  Why couldn't Freddie Mercury ask his physicist bandmate Brian May for advice before writing such an unscientific song?

  drugs

   

• pmm711 5,719 Posts

  Sat, Oct 23 2021 6:16 AM

  craigswan:

  Dear pabby ,

  I was dropped on my head by the midwife as a baby and consequently cannot make any decisions and have no moral fibre..

  I can't tell right from wrong  , I am dishonest and selfish and frequently accidentally wear my jacket inside out.

  I have an appointment with the Career Adviser at school tomorrow and would like to ask about a career..

  Is a political career the right one for me .

  Democrat or republican .

  Or maybe join the police force .

  Which should I choose?

  My school was harvard so i am leaning too donald trump or joe biden .

  Wow…you truly are delusional.  Thank the midwife for that.

   

• craigswan 32,015 Posts

  Sat, Oct 23 2021 10:12 AM

  Dear paddy ,

  I am worried that I may be a serial killer. Last Thursday I strangled a young lady from our office that I had invited back to my house for a cup of tea. Yesterday I asked my neighbour if he could come in and have a look at my washing machine and I beat his head in with a monkey wrench. I chopped up these bodies, bagged their remains in several black bin bags and they are piled up in the bath seeping blood everywhere. They really stink. This morning it has happened again. I am writing this at the kitchen table while looking at the decapitated body of one of our local Jehovah's Witnesses lying on the floor at my feet. Do you think I need help?

• pmm711 5,719 Posts

  Sun, Oct 24 2021 10:19 PM

  craigswan:

  Dear paddy ,

  I am worried that I may be a serial killer. Last Thursday I strangled a young lady from our office that I had invited back to my house for a cup of tea. Yesterday I asked my neighbour if he could come in and have a look at my washing machine and I beat his head in with a monkey wrench. I chopped up these bodies, bagged their remains in several black bin bags and they are piled up in the bath seeping blood everywhere. They really stink. This morning it has happened again. I am writing this at the kitchen table while looking at the decapitated body of one of our local Jehovah's Witnesses lying on the floor at my feet. Do you think I need help?

  No worries...help is on the way.  Hold tight.

• craigswan 32,015 Posts

  Thu, Nov 4 2021 1:40 PM

  Dear pabby ,

  I think that I'm just too nice and I think that this is not allowing me to see the bad side of people..

  Just recently I had a builder round to quote for an extension. I asked if he had any satisfied customers and he told me that he was always doing work for my dream home .

  He then asked me for thirty grand up front for materials and it was only after I had given him the money and he'd left my house, I realised that I had no way of contacting him. That was two weeks ago and he's not come back yet to start the job..

  Do you think that assertiveness classes are the answer for me?

  Please reply promptly as I am wrestling with whether or not to send the remainder of my savings to a Kenyan Prince who's got something funny happening to his bank account. I don't think it's a fiddle but you never know..

• craigswan 32,015 Posts

  Thu, Nov 4 2021 2:33 PM

  Dear pabby ,

  I am a very heavy drinker and each day consume about twenty pints of beer .

  I enjoy this and as my wife knew of my hobby when we met, she puts up with a lot from me really, but I also do the same with her.

  Last night I staggered, singing loudly, up the drive and stumbled through the door, like you do, was sick on the carpet and stumbled up to bed. My wife knows I always do this..

  I made love to my wife and in the middle of the night got up to go to the lavatory and accidentally urinated in my wife's wardrobe, then I trod on the cat's tail, threw it to its death out of the window then punched my wife, after which I fell downstairs, put some chips on to cook and forgot about them, falling asleep. Apparently the chip pan then caught fire and burned the house down.

  Then I realised it was the wrong house. This has not happened before .

  Do you think this is a warning to me to change my ways..

• craigswan 32,015 Posts

  Thu, Nov 11 2021 1:22 PM

  Dear paddy ,

   

  It’s nearly december and I haven’t seen any Christmas adverts yet..

  What the hell is wrong with people?

  I’ve already started making my Christmas list. I don’t need any toys, they are soooo 20th century. Why go outside and ride a bike or waste time with Barbie dolls when you can spend seven hours a day watching a pair of disembodied hands opening surprise eggs and talking in an annoying American accent about collecting Shopkins? If you don’t know what I am talking about then you either don’t have kids or you need to learn how to parent with your iPad. Either way you need to get a life..