Forums

Well ***

• txzdave 1,316 Posts

  Mon, May 29 2017 1:46 AM

        I understand now why I ain't gonna say a word for awhile.

  Gotta stand up for standin' down.

                            F'in' Right On!

           Whate'er.....

                       Go get yo self some.

          ~txz~

   

• Jimbog1964 8,378 Posts

  Mon, May 29 2017 6:20 AM

  txzdave:

  Gotta stand up for standin' down.

                            F'in' Right On!

  Yo..keep goin txz

   

• craigswan 31,839 Posts

  Mon, May 29 2017 6:25 AM

  Dave was doing yard work after the storm this weekend and his wife was about to take a shower. He realized that he couldn't find the rake. He yelled up to his  wife, "Where's the rake?"

  She couldn't hear him and she shouted back, "What?"

   Dave pointed to his eye, then  pointed to his knee and made a raking motion. Then his wife wasn't sure and said, "What?"

   Dave repeated the gestures: "EYE KNEE THE RAKE."

   His wife replied that she understands and signals back. She first points to her eye, next she points to her left breast, then she points to her bum, and finally to her crotch.

  Well, there is no way in hell dave could even come close to that one. Exasperated, he went upstairs and asked her, "What the hell was that?"

  She replied, "EYE – LEFT TIT – BEHIND – THE BUSH."

  
  

   

• craigswan 31,839 Posts

  Mon, May 29 2017 6:39 AM

  So dave's wife is turning 32 next week. He  told her not to get her hopes up for her birthday.

  "After all," he said, "The celebrations are only going to last half a minute."

  "What are you talking about?" she asked.

   He  said, "It's your thirty-second birthday."

  
  

   

• craigswan 31,839 Posts

  Mon, May 29 2017 6:42 AM

  .Dave's  wife asked him  to go to the store.

  She says, "Can you go down to the grocery store, and get a gallon of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6."

  Later on Dave  returns home and she looks at his  purchases and says, "Why in the world did you buy 6 gallons of milk?"

   Dave  responded, "They had eggs."

  
  

   

• craigswan 31,839 Posts

  Mon, May 29 2017 6:45 AM

  Interviewer: So Dave "I heard you are extremely quick at maths."

   Dave : "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am."

  Interviewer: "Whats 14x27?"

   Dave : "49."

  Interviewer: "That's not even close."

   Dave : "Yeah, but it was fast."