Lawro from the BBC has 11 points.
Name: Mystic Marcus.
Age: Eight.
Appearance: Porcine.
That’s not very nice. It’s OK. Mystic Marcus is a pig.
A mystic pig? A prognosticating pig.
Does that means he sniffs out truffles? Marcus sniffs out the future. In the past, he has predicted the winner of Wimbledon, foretold of Derby County’s failure to be promoted and divined the outcome of the Brexit vote.
Yeah, but what’s he done lately? He has just named the semi-finalists in this year’s World Cup.
He sounds like Some Pig. How does he operate? Faced with 32 apples set out in a circle, each with a national flag stuck in it, Marcus chose four.
How did he choose them? By eating them.
I’m not a pig behaviourist or anything, but isn’t it possible that Marcus, left to his own devices, would eat all 32 apples? You know nothing. It’s about which ones he eats first.
Which ones did he eat first? Those with the flags of Belgium, Argentina, Nigeria and Uruguay.
Audible sigh. Is this really news? It is in Nigeria – the odds of them reaching the semis are currently 33/1.
In that case, Marcus must have eaten the wrong apple. Don’t be so sure. According to his owner, Juliette Stevens, Marcus has so far been right 100% of the time.