conveyorguy:waiting on Joe to post some pics....
Sorry Mike, that's never going to happen because Joe doesn't know how to post pics (LOL) so I thought I'd jump on and post two photos.
Psychology 101
Just be lackadaisical in life, and others have to do your work for you. LOL
There was nothing but lackadaisical thoughts, as the four horseman of the apocalypse, converged upon Richmond CC, In Rhode Island. Thoughts soon became reality, once the mayhem began.
The greens, as Wayne said, were wet with morning dew. MMMMM, morning dew...
The first putt of the day, was hysterical, and a fore told vision, from the humor Gods, for what was about to unfold. A rooster tail approximately 18 inches, ( That;s 45.72 centimeters for the uninitiated) of water, was ascended into the air. I believe we were the second group to tee off for the day.
The foot prints from the group before us, were prevalent through the front 9. The upside of that scenario was, the lines, the balls created, were a very good indicator of how the greens played.
Made no difference to me, what so ever.
Call it cheating if you will. However, I call it good management, to pay attention, to such things. Most of you that know me, know I have an attention span of that gnat, in the other thread. The gnat has a slight advantage over me, as these three gents will attest to, in a court of law, if applicable... ;))
Just to prove this point, I noticed 2 days ago, while on my home course, I left my 7 iron, leaning against a tree, in Richmond, while I was enjoying the sounds of running water. Yeah, I was taking a pi-ss. Absentmindedly as I am, I walked away and left it holding up a massive pine tree. Oh well...
As we were kind of feeling each other out, we approached the second tee. We decided to let the twosome behind us, and closing fast, play through.
I figured no time like the present, to break the ice, and let the real Joe run wild & free, from all that is courteous, and upstanding. You know, just be me.
Mike was safe, as he & I had met on two prior occasions. He knew what he was walking into.
Well this is what walked onto the second tee >
I was mortified, as my pink flamingo pants had not been hemmed yet. I was jealous as heck. To break the ice, I offered the guy $500.00 initially, for his pants. After all, I just wanted to see him walk away in his underwear. Psychology 102. He flat out refused.
So being the persistent pri-ck that I can be, I then offered him $250.00, for one leg......
Laughter ensued, the stage was set for epic fun, and the guy flat out refused me again. What a mumpsimus.
We were soon on our way, to relentless, absurdly irresponsible, shenanigans. We managed to fit some fun in as well.
The only way to golf.
If one was punished by as shot, all, fell lockstep & key, into the same purgatory somewhere along the way.
This was a recurring nightmare for all of us...
So much for not being able to post a picture, eh? LMFBO Good one Wayne...
Now, being the over confident putz I endeavor to be, in the second picture up, I tried to ricochet the ball off the tree into one behind me, hoping for a second ricochet, out of the schmeck, or at least within clear shooting distance, of the cup.
All attention was funneled into the thoughts of protecting my balls. Not the ones in the bag, I might add.
No chance. I had a better chance of waiting for the second coming, and ask a friend to turn wood into, well, into not wood, I guess. Didn't happen. Two very precarious hits later, the ball was STILL IN THE SAME PLACE!
So much for being the hero. Right after that, the skies opened up, and knowledge of the golf Gods was imparted down upon me, like a sack of cement. See how Wayne deals with conflict.
I THINK, no proof, however, he managed to put this bad daddy on the green for a par, from that very spot.. WTF!?
I think Judge Smails may have tripped over his (Wayne's) ball, when he extracted himself from the forest, allowing Wayne, a tiny bit of relief, tiny my ass. ;))
Oh, and that's not all Wayne had mysterious Godlike help with. Check this out >
That ball right there, is NOT at the bottom of the cup. It has impaled itself just above the cup top, & into the actual green's grass, while being held fast, by the stick. That shot, was traversing a mega sand trap, and, about 75 yards out.
I call hokey pokey on that one, for sure. If its not at the bottom of the cup, is it really in the cup? One for a lengthy discussion someday.
Who the heck gets away with this crap, CONSTANTLY!? The ONLY upside of this, was my putt was sucked in by the small indenture his ball made. I'm telling you. I had to rethink if I wanted to continue with this miraculously, savage beat down, he was GLADLY bestowing upon our poor souls.
The greens began to dry out. The sun came out to play, as well. So, all was good at the Richmond CC for the rest of the day.
Well, at least till the shot that stood the golfing community on it's head, happened. In complete wonderment, we all just shook our heads, wondering, if what had just transpired, was actually real. I am prone to a few LSD flashbacks, on occasion, so, I could not be sure, I was witnessing reality. I referred to my counterparts, to assure me, that I was in fact, witnessing something rare, & real...
I promised never to spill the proverbial beans. Y'all can let your imaginations run completely amok, I will say, what we all witnessed, was a first, in the history of golf.
I would bet my life, it will also be the last.
I thought I would leave a lasting impression on these boys. NOPE! Not me, Wayne managed something that if we told Y'all, it would be cast off as incompressible, & completely unbelievable poppycock.
Since we are all golfers of the highest magnitude here, I will not sully our reputations, with possible inveigling discussions.
The entire event, somehow managed to exceed even my expectations, at every turn of the cart. I can say, that I prefer to golf around pine trees, as the OCCASIONAL times I found my self in the woods, branching out my awesomeness, it is very easy to spot your ball on top of pine needles, instead of under maple, oaks, etc. tree debris.
Not to make Y'all to think this was all about Wayne, as we all had nefarious shots run completely out of control, Erik, Mike, & myself had plenty of trials & tribulations to go around.
Wayne's recoveries, were just way more noteworthy, that the rest of us. Erik & Wayne were on average better golfers that day. Mike was in his zone as well, that's a good place, until his slice STOPPED! LMFAO
Mike & Wayne, have a slice to beat the band. They both play into it like pro's. Until, serendipitously, they go straight as pi-ss, into the woods on the left. I recall Mike playing one hole to the right of us backwards the WHOLE WAY down, until he crossed over, (Yeah, he crossed over alright) to the green for a flipping BOGEY!!
It was hands down, the best damn game of FU-CK ME, I've ever played......
When the trumpet of golf sends its resounding call, you can bet your bottom dollar, & pants, I'll be there, to play these gentleman in perpetuity.
WigerToods2010: Great read and terrifying terrific pictures, too.
You ^^^, you're next bruv... I see a double crossing of the pond, in the very near future.
Elvis has left the building...
Joe
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