p.s. I changed MrCaddie name for SidersBest, since it seemed more appropriate for 2018. I meant no disrespect to the original transcript.
Twas almost the Night before the 12 days of Christmas Giveaway .
All the Country Clubs were ready, The gifts from the Pro shop were all under the tree And almost all the days were full . SidersBest was burned out from all the silly PM,s and working so hard . He sat down in his chair and drifted off to sleep .
Thats when all hell broke loose ,
The Santas little helpers jimmyed the lock on the bar and started to drink all the good stuff ,They then hooked up the TV to the computer and started to download Elf porn .
A few of the Santas helpers drank too much then Tossed up Christmas cookies on the floor And one passed out with his head in the toilet .
Santas little helpers then found SidersBest car key,s and went out on the town in a rampage ,They took turns driving to see who could run down the most mail boxes and do the best yard turfing .
After a bit of that they set his car on fire and pushed it into the lake at the Kiawah island course on hole # 17 .
As the Santas little helpers were stumbling back to SidersBest house they saw that the WGT Police were knocking on his door and they all ran to the bushes to hide .
The WGT police Icon & Shoe could see all the empty bottles on the porch and in the yard and more in the house on the floor throu the window .
SidersBest woke from his sleep and said to him self , Self just who the .... is at my door at this time of night ,
He got up from the chair but did not see that the helpers had taken his pants , He opened the door yelling " Just who the .... do you think you are .
The WGT police Icon & Shoe saw this man at the door with nothing on but his Tee shirt and could see that there was Elf porn on the TV . The Police did not ask but just clocked SidersBest with a night stick and put him back to sleep .
SidersBest woke up in a WGT jail cell with a very large man , That man then told him , Son your name is now Betty and you are now my Btch .
A few days latter Santas little helpers all got together and took some of the gifts to the pawn shop and used that money to pay SidersBest bail .
When SidersBest got out he went home in his orange jump suit to find the place trashed and his car was gone , He then said to him self ,, Self you know who did this , them little Bstards , I will get each and every one of you even if it takes me till Christmas in July .
The End