You can always tell an American on the Old Course at St Andrews. He will have a caddie, he will be wearing tartan trousers, a tartan hat or cap - and he will be hacking his way around the most famous links on the planet. ------ I have seen it all. I have seen the guy who stands over the ball for an eternity, unable to move. There is the golfer who swings the club so hard that he almost ends up face down on the ground. There are the players who should be urged to slow their swing to a blur. There is a guy who climbs into a bunker with absolutely no chance of ever being able to get the ball out. There is the backswing that doesn’t reach halfway. There is the golfer who seems to lose a ball on every single hole - how on earth can he afford to play golf?