“Blessed are the hearts that can bend; they shall never be broken.”
― Albert Camus
Why is it so hard to forgive others?
Before you respond, "Because they're an a - hole" let me suggest an alternative point and example.
I have a friend, Walter. Walter can be the most annoying pain in the lower regions you have ever met. In our bowling league he threatened to shoot another team for allegedly crossing the line.
Yeah, man, crossing the line.
Maybe it's our own expectations--the rules we impose on our world--that make transgressions so abundantly available to grasp onto and hold others in contempt? We make the lines, the lines others cross. Sometimes they don't even know they're crossing our lines (unlike when I'm late on the rent.) Like my man, Albert, reminds us, it is better to have a heart that bends instead of a heart that is hard and unbending. And I must remember my part in the world, reacting to others is a choice, man, a choice we all must make and live with the consequences.
Walter, for all of his aggressive antics (something he attributes to PTSD from Vietnam--even though he was never in the service and the closest he has come to Vietnam is a restaurant on the corner of 28th and Vine) can be a kind and loving person. He has helped me through major challenges (like the kidnapping episode with Bunny.)
I've forgiven Walter because I erased the line, the boundary that said "Just because he acts like a donkey's brother it doesn't mean I can't forgive him and move on, man."
But forgiveness is tough. So today on this auspicious end to 2024 I begin my list of 2025 resolutions with "Forgiveness."
*Edit: After writing this I played a game in Rio and was confronted with a player that allowed the clock to run down, taking a time out, on their drive, and then, letting the shot clock to drop to near zero with each subsequent shot. If you say, "Well, Dude, that's the rules," I am reminded he made a triple bogey, putting all around the green after I was safely on in two, evidently doing so to get under my skin. But I did not wilt under the pressure. My only comment to the player was "GG" at the end, as I took my winnings, turned off WGT, and left to go to the bowling alley to play a league match and nurse a White Russian...or two. Take the victories, today I erased the line, forgave the player, and enjoyed my time in the virtual and real world.
Cheers to all for a Happy New Year, wishing you all the best for a fantastic 2025. Sincerely, The Dude