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Re: laugh,s for the new year .

• craigswan 31,575 Posts

  Fri, Dec 28 2012 8:44 AM

  Murphy's' wife had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come.
  He brought her to the doctor and the doctor began to deliver the baby. he had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Murphy and said.
  'Hey, Murph! You just had you a son,!
  'Ain't dat grand, !!' Murphy got excited by this, but just then the doctor spoke up and said, 'Hold on! We ain't finished yet, !'
  
  The doctor then delivered a little girl.
  He said, 'Hey, Murph! You got you a daughter, !!!! She is a pretty lil ting, too....'
  Murphy got kind of puzzled by this and then the doctor said, 'Hold on, we aint got done yet, !'
  
  The doctor then delivered another boy and said, 'Murph, you just had yourself another boy, !'
  Murphy said to the doctor, 'Doc, what caused all of dem babies,?'
  
  The doctor said, 'You never know Murph, it was probably something that happened during conception
  Murphy said, 'Ah yeah, during conception.'
  
  When Murph and his wife went home with their three children, he sat down with his wife and said, 'Mama, you remember dat night that we ran out of Vaseline and we had to use dat dere 3-in-1 Oil.'
  
  She said, 'Yeah, I remember dat night...'
  
  Murph said, 'I'll tell you, ....it's a good ting we didn't use WD-40

• craigswan 31,575 Posts

  Fri, Dec 28 2012 9:32 AM

  He took the material to the tailor and said, "I'd like ye to make me a kilt with this material here and, if ye don't mind, I'd like ye to make me a pair of matching underwear for it. I hear it gets a might drafty up dem tings!"

  So the tailor took the material and promised to call the young lad when the order was completed. A few days later the tailor called the lad back to the shop.

  "Here's ye kilt, and here's ye matching underwear, and here's five yards of the material left over. Ye might want to take it home and keep it in case you want anything else made of it."

  So the lad rushed home with his order, threw the material in his room, and donned his kilt. In his excitement, he decided to run to his girlfriend's house to show off his new purchase. Unfortunately, in his excitement, he forgot to don his underwear.

  When his girlfriend answered the door, he pointed to his kilt and said, "Well, what'd ye think?"

  "Ah, but dat's a fine looking kilt," she exclaimed.

  "Aye, and if ye like it, ye'll really like what's underneath," he stated as he lifted his kilt to show here.

  "Oh, but dat's a dandy," his girlfriend shouted admiringly.

  Still not realizing that he didn't have his underwear on he exclaimed quite proudly, "Aye, and if ye like it, I've got five more yards of it at home!"

• craigswan 31,575 Posts

  Fri, Dec 28 2012 9:37 AM

  Lizzie  puts her hand up a Scots man's kilt and says "That's gruesome!", the Scots man answers "Put it back up it's grew some more

• 9,041 Posts

  Fri, Dec 28 2012 11:54 AM

  Young couple on a romantic getaway in a log cabin...

  That morning they hear snow is forecast so the man goes out for firewood..20 mins later he's back and says..

  "God it's cold out there, can I put my hands between your legs to warm up ?"

  "Ok she says"...of course the inevitable happens.

  That afternoon he goes out for more wood and comes back and says..

  "It's not got any warmer,can I put my hands between your legs to warm them up ?"

  Same result.

  8 pm at night and just going dark, so out he goes for more wood....20 mins later he's back saying..

  "It's gotten worse out there,can I put my hands between your legs to warm them up ?"

  "Jesus Christ" she says....."What ?" he says..

  " Don't your friggin ears ever get cold !! "