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Re: The Perfect Husband

• mnshiner 1,382 Posts

  Sun, Mar 4 2012 11:33 AM

  Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
  MAN: "Hello"
  WOMAN: "Hi, Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
  MAN: "Yes."
  WOMAN: "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $2,000; is it OK if I buy it?"
  MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
  WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked."
  MAN: "How much?"
  WOMAN: "$90,000."
  MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
  WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Janie and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $980,000 for it."
  MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it's what you really want."
  WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"
  MAN: "Bye! I love you, too." The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open. He turns and asks, "Anyone know who's phone this is?"

• pdxdriver 2,628 Posts

  Sun, Mar 4 2012 11:44 AM

  Men 1-Women 0

  lol

• Doublemochaman 2,009 Posts

  Sun, Mar 4 2012 1:22 PM

  Locker room man = +1

  Woman's husband = -1

• MioKontic 4,644 Posts

  Mon, Mar 5 2012 3:00 AM

  The perfect wife...

  A man and his wife are playing golf on their local course.  On the 6th hole, a par 5, the man slices his drive way right of the fairway.  They eventually get to his ball only to find there is a very large barn between him and the green.

  "I have an idea", says the wife, "I'll go open the barn doors both front and back and you can play the ball through."

  "That's a good idea" said the man.

  So off his wife goes and opens the doors of the barn.  When both sets of doors were open, the man takes his shot and the ball heads towards the barn.  It goes through the front set of doors, but then ricochets off the barn walls, hits his wife on the head and kills her.

  Exactly a year after the tragedy, the man was playing golf with one of the members.  On the 6th hole he once again slices his drive way right of the fairway.  When they reach his ball they see the barn between him and the green.

  "Never mind", said the friend, "I'll go open the barn doors both front and back and you can play the ball through".

  "No", said the man, "I had a bad experience doing that last year".

  "Oh", said the friend, "what happened?"

  "I had a 7".