What a rambling post - its taken several attempts to even read it - was this all said in one breath like a horse racing commentator? But I will try to answer some points you ranted.
Basically if you want to find "your rhythm" put the game into practice mode on your desired course before teeing off in a ranked/scored round. Use the starter ball in this mode, the meter speed is faster and when it comes to your "game ball" it will seem easier to ding.
As with most real golf courses, a ball in the water is not retrievable (well 9 out of 10 times) and this game is no exception, except the ball is never retrievable.
I assume you mean when WGT goes down for maintenance you lose your hits on the ball or a game freezes - yes frustrating but not exactly a life threatening event.
Finally you can play the game without spending a dime by using purely the starters equipment (I did that for my first year) or doing surveys etc. The choice is yours. Yes if you want to have the advantage of the better equipment it is hard to play this game without opening your wallet at some time, but it is possible.