If I hadn't been drunk and skinned up from the gutter, even I would have noticed the discrepancies in the story.
I do understand that life is not fair. If my pub were uphill from home, I could stroll up there then roll home down the gutter. As it is, I stroll down there, then have to crawl home UP the gutter.
I also thought the original title of this thread was "Scabies." Makes more sense, now, once I supply the missing "m."