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• craigswan 31,567 Posts

  Mon, Mar 3 2014 1:01 PM

   

• craigswan 31,567 Posts

  Mon, Mar 3 2014 1:04 PM

  

• renniw52 5,385 Posts

  Mon, Mar 3 2014 1:35 PM

  Craig, your still a sick puppy. Luv ya man.

• craigswan 31,567 Posts

  Wed, Mar 5 2014 12:26 PM

  A businessman traveled to Japan to meet and play golf with a few Japanese business ssociates. Having nothing to do the
  night before his game, he decided to solicit the services of a prostitute.
  Later, when they were in the throes of passion, she suddenly screamed out "Kawasaki!" Not knowing the translation, he
  figured it meant he was performing exceptionally well, and so he kept going.
  Again she screamed, "Kawasaki! Kawasaki!" And again, he smiled proudly at this congratulation and continued.
  Finally, she shrieked "KAWASAKI!" a third time, jumped out of bed and ran from the room. "Must have been too good for
  her!" he thought to himself, and went to sleep contented with himself.
  The next day, while in the middle of his round of golf, one of his Japanese associates hit a perfect 6-iron off the tee right into
  the cup for a hole-in-one! Remembering his new word and wanting to impress his associates with his linguistic proficiency, the
  man yelled out Kawasaki!"
  Perplexed, the Japanese golfer turned to him and asked, "What do you mean, wrong hole

• craigswan 31,567 Posts

  Wed, Mar 5 2014 12:47 PM

  A man went to a strange town to be the guest speaker at a business meeting. When he arrived at his Motel, he found he had a lot of time before the meeting so he got the directions for a nearby golf course from the clerk.
  
  While playing on the front nine, he thought over his impending speech and became confused as to where he was on the course. Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained the situation and asked her if she knew what hole he was playing. She replied, "I'm on the 7th hole and you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole."
  
  He thanked her and went back to his golf.
  
  On the back nine the same thing happened and he approached her again with the same request. She said, "I'm on the 14th, you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 13th."
  
  Once again he thanked her and returned to his play. He finished his round and went into the club house where he saw the lady sitting at the end of the bar. He asked the bartender if he knew the lady. The bartender said that she was a sales lady and played the course often. He approached her and said, "Let me buy you a drink in appreciation for your help. I understand you are in the sales profession. I'm in sales also. What do you sell?"
  
  She replied, "If I told you, you would only laugh."
  
  "No I wouldn't."
  
  "Well if you must know", she answered, "I sell sanitary towels."
  
  She said, "See I knew you would laugh."
  
  "That's not what I'm laughing at" he replied, "I'm a toilet paper salesman, so I'm still a hole behind you!"

• craigswan 31,567 Posts

  Wed, Mar 5 2014 12:49 PM

  Four guys who worked together always golfed as a group at 7 a.m. Sunday. But one of them got transferred, and they were talking about trying to fill out the foursome.

  A woman standing near the tee said, "Hey, I like to golf, can I join the group?"

  They were hesitant but said she could come once to try it. She said "Good, I'll be there at 6:30 or quarter to seven."

  She showed up right at 6:30, and wound up setting a course record with a 7-under-par round. The guys went nuts and everyone in the clubhouse congratulated her. Meanwhile, she was fun and pleasant the entire round. The guys happily invited her back the next week and she said "Sure, I'll be here at 6:30 or quarter to 7."

  Again, she showed up at 6:30 Sunday morning. Only this time, she played left-handed, and matched her 7-under par score of the previous week. By now the guys were totally amazed, and they asked her to join the group for keeps.

  They had a beer after their round, and one of the guys asked her, "how do you know if you're going to golf right-handed or left-handed?"

  She said "That's easy. Before I leave for the golf course, I pull the covers off my husband, who sleeps in the nude. If his member is pointing to the right, I golf right-handed; if it's pointed to the left, I golf left-handed."

  A guy asked "what if it's pointed straight up?"

  She said "Then I'll be here at nine o'clock."

• craigswan 31,567 Posts

  Wed, Mar 5 2014 12:50 PM

  A country club didn't allow women on the golf course. Eventually, there was enough pressure that they decided to allow women on the course during the week.

  The ladies were satisfied with this arrangement, formed a women's club, and became active. After about 6 months, the club board received a letter from the women's club complaining about the men urinating on the golf course. Naturally, they just ignored the matter. After another 6 months, they received another letter reminding them of the previous letter and demanding action. After due deliberation they sent the women a letter advising them that they had been granted equal privileges!

• craigswan 31,567 Posts

  Sat, Mar 8 2014 2:33 AM

  musical chairs - it,s better with adults .