that does sound really frustrating, all the "frustration" of this game is what makes it so "realistic" to me (lol).
I'm fairly new to this game but here is my "related" (somewhat) experience if it helps. For the longest time, I didn't upgrade clubs at all. I just didn't want to spend any money at all on this addiction (i have enough already). Then I discovered the "surveys" and started banking credits here & there. I have finally started upgrading clubs and the putter was one of the first to give me improvements. I was using the starter putter for so long, when i upgraded to the redwood it just made putting so much easier. I can't tell you how many times I have struck a putt off the ding line, shouted "Sh*t!", just to watch it roll in. I think having such a crappy putter for so long then such a huge upgrade was great training for me (like swimming with weights).
Also, for what it's worth, i haven't used it but in my "research" i saw a lot of folks complaining about the spider putter, just a thought.
good luck.