Thanks guys
MTBR - I have around 50-60% of my 4g ram always being used when I play, and the game client itself is not too bad, somewhere around 2-300mb. I have installed the cleanmem you suggested I guess it is working in the backgound, i can see the processes in task manager.
Mantis - I have tried every browser I can think of, most are actually ok and playable, the dots are always slow for me however.
I have noticed this, though - when playing on lowest quality flash the dots do speed up a little, on all browsers, of course it is not much fun in this view, but switching even to medium or any better noticably slows down my dots.
I am going to keep plugging away to see if anything is eating up my ram and is not appearing in task manager, there are a couple of ways of seeing this but they are too advanced for me.....