This reminds me of when as a prank,we told Emmy that the circus was in town,and that they were asking for a lion tamer trainee.
Emmy has always been the smallest bit trusting and so she took the car to town and made application.The chaufuer went in with her and related the account of subsequent interviews.
I am aware that the majority of pieple wish my tales could be short and not long,so I will be a sweetie and hurry it along.
Emmy: I have come about the Lion Tamer Job.
Circusmaster: Hmm,take a seat.So,what do you know about Lions Miss err...?
Emmy: Carruthers.Emmeline Carruthers.Well,lions have long tails,tickly whiskers and sometimes are called Tony,but mine is called wombatt.
Circusmaster: You have a Lion?Interesting.Asian or Saharan?
Emmy: Oh he came from Hamleys,I got him for chrissymas when I was four.
Circusmaster: Oh,I see,a toy lion then?
Emmy: Yes of course,Daddy says you can't have a real lion on account of them eating the servants.
Circusmaster: Ok,lets forget your lion for the moment then.Now Lion taming is quite skillful you know.It takes courage,bravery and quite a lot of training.Now do you scare easily Emmeline?
Emmy: I dont know anyone called Easily,Im sorry.But I'm sure I could scare him if only I knew how.Maybe youre thinking of my brother Charles,he does that sort of thing.
Circusmaster: Hmm,well look,lets do a little test shall we?Follow me.
The entourage troops through the straw laden field to a large tent with a very low door let into the longest side.The heavy canvass is streaked here and there from years of neglect.Emmy removes her bonnet and swings it by the pale blue ribbons as she ducks inside after the circusmaster.
Circusmaster: Here we are,this is where we train the lion tamers.Over there,by that cage,is where the lions will come from.
Emmy: Gosh,do you let them out without a lead? How simply frightening! what happens if they run towards me?
Circusmaster: Well now Emmeline,you would pick up that whip over there,and give it three loud cracks to scare the lion off.
Emmy: But what if the lion isnt scared and simply wants me for luncheon?
Circusmaster: Oh,if done properly and loudly enough,the lion knows he must come no further.
Emmy: Yes but,what if I make a mistake and he doesnt understand?Will he gobble me all up?I dont think Mummy would like that if he did.
Circusmaster: It would be most unusual for the lion to do that,but if he did,and you are quite right to ask,then you would take hold of this chair,turn the legs toward the lion,and thrust it aggressively in his direction.He would be sure to retreat directly then.
Emmy: I know you will think me a galloot,but after all,if I get it wrong with the whip,might I not also get it wrong with the chair too?
Circusmaster: I think the chances of that would be remote indeed.I have never seen that happen in my whole life Emmeline.
Emmy: I know you say that,but sometimes I can be such a goof.If I did get it wrong,and the lion kept coming,what would I do then to save myself?
Circusmaster: Hmm,Okay,the only thing left to do then would be to reach behind you,scoop up some dung from the floor,and throw it at the lion.He would most certainly back off then.
Emmy: I am so sorry to be persistant,but what if I reach behind me and there is no dung to be found?
Circusmaster: Oh there will be.There will be.
Lizzie xx