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Here's a funny, at least to us Men...

Sat, Nov 19 2011 7:30 PM (5 replies)
  • hpurey
    11,505 Posts
    Mon, Oct 3 2011 3:11 PM

    A young single guy is on a cruise ship, having the time of his life. On the second day of the cruise, the ship slams into an iceberg and begins to sink. Passengers around him are screaming, flailing, and drowning but he manages to grab on to a piece of driftwood and, using every last ounce of strength, swims a few miles through the shark-infested sea to a remote island. Sprawled on the shore nearly passed out from exhaustion, he turns his head and sees a woman lying near him, unconscious, barely breathing. She's also managed to wash up on shore from the sinking ship. He makes his way to her, and with some mouth-to-mouth assistance he manages to get her breathing again. She looks up at him, wide-eyed and grateful, and says, "My God, you saved my life!" He suddenly realizes the woman is Cindy Crawford! Days and weeks go by. Cindy and the man are living on the island together. They've set up a hut, there's fruit on the trees, and they're in heaven. Cindy's fallen madly in love with him, and they're making passionate love morning, noon and night. One day she notices he's looking kind of glum. "What's the matter, sweetheart?" she asks. "We have a wonderful life together. I'm in love with you. Is there something wrong? Is there anything I can do?" He says, "Actually, Cindy, there is. Would you mind putting on my shirt?" "Sure," she says, "If it will help." He takes off his shirt and she puts it on. "Now would you put on my pants?" he asks. "Sure, honey, if it's really going to make you feel better," she says. "Okay, would you put on my hat now, and draw a little mustache on your face?" he asks. "Whatever you want, sweetie," she says, and does. Then he says, "Now, would you start walking around the edge of the island?" She starts walking around the perimeter of the island. He sets off in the other direction. They meet up half way around the island a few minutes later. He rushes up to her, grabs her by the shoulders, and says, "Dude! You'll never believe who I'm sleeping with!"

  • wayne5347
    59 Posts
    Mon, Oct 3 2011 3:40 PM

    nice one guy, LMAO.

    But here's another.

    4 guys have been trying for sometime to get out golfing on a Saturday morning. They finally make it out. Guy 2 asks guy 1, what did you have to do to get out today.Guy1 says well, I had to promise the wife I'd paint a room for her. Guy 2 says, ha, that's nothing, I had to promise mine that I'd build a new deck around the pool. Guy 3 says, that's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I'd completely remodel the kitchen. During the entire round guy 4 has said nothing. He's asked, what did you have to do to get out. Guy 4 says, well, there was nothing to it. I woke up at 5 AM, slapped the wife on the ass and said intercourse or golf course. She says, don't forget your sunscreen.

  • hpurey
    11,505 Posts
    Mon, Oct 3 2011 3:48 PM

    HAHA  lmao....will have to remember that one.

  • DannyPhan
    1,013 Posts
    Mon, Oct 3 2011 3:55 PM

    Good one here's another:

    A woman and a man driver are involved in a horrific collision, but amazingly both escape completely unhurt – though their cars are written off.

    As they crawl out of the wreckage, the man sees the woman is blonde and strikingly beautiful. Then the woman turns to the man and gushes breathily: ‘That’s incredible both our cars are demolished but we’re fine.

    It must be a sign from God that we are meant to be together!’

    Sensing a promise, the man stammers back, ‘Oh yes, I agree with you completely!’

    The woman goes on, ‘And look, though my car was destroyed, this bottle of wine survived intact, too! It must be another sign. Let’s drink to our love!’

    ‘Well, OK!’ says the man, going with the moment. She offers him the bottle, so he downs half of it and hands it back.

    ‘Your turn,’ says the man.

    ‘No, thanks,’ says the woman, ‘I think I’ll just wait for the police.’

  • hpurey
    11,505 Posts
    Mon, Oct 3 2011 6:54 PM

    LOL......I thought she was a blonde :-)

     

  • racermike
    20 Posts
    Sat, Nov 19 2011 7:30 PM

    Here's one                                                                                                                                                    A young trucker takes a job with a huge but family owned trucking co.   The father is a self- made billionaire who started with one truck , married his beautiful high school sweetheart and had 3 daughters that grew up even more beautiful than their mother.            The young trucker became involved with the middle daughter and asked for her hand.  All was well except the family secretly suspected the young trucker only wanted to marry for money and i piece of the company, so they arranged a test.                                                           After the wedding rehearsal, the youngest daughter asked the young trucker to drive her home. Once there she started making advances toward him. When she felt he was about to weaken, she excused herself and went upstairs , only when she got to the top she threw her panties down were he was sitting. Well that was well past his breaking point. He screamed " OH MY GOD" got up and ran out the front door as fast as he could!                          On the side walk in the front yard he almost bowled his future in-laws into the street , were they told him of the test , how sorry they were for ever douting  his loyalty and how proud they were to welcome him as an equal member of the family , were he lived the rest of his life in great wealth.                                                                                                                                                                                                                         The morel of the story is      ALWAYS  LEAVE YOURE CONDOMS IN THE TRUCK!!   

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