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A Must Read New Golf Book

• gerrylangan 65 Posts

  Fri, Mar 29 2013 7:18 AM

  A new book on golf... I believe this gives the reader valuable playing tips and insider information that I too have gained through my years of experience.
  
  Highlights include:
  
  Chapter 1 - How to Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt
  
  Chapter 2 - How to Hit a Maxfli from the Rough When You Just Hit a Titleist from the Tee
  
  Chapter 3 - How to Avoid the Water When You Lie 8 in a Bunker
  
  Chapter 4 - How to Get More Distance off the Shank
  
  Chapter 5 - Using Your Shadow on the Greens to Maximize Earnings
  
  Chapter 6 - When to Implement Handicap Management

  Chapter 7 - How to Find That Ball That Everyone Else Saw Go in the Water
  
  Chapter 8- How to Relax When You Are Hitting Three off the Tee
  
  Chapter 9- When to Suggest Major Swing Corrections to Your Opponent
  
  Chapter 10- When to Re-grip Your Ball Retriever
  
  The book also includes the latest GOLF TERMS
  
  A Paris Hilton - an expensive hole
  
  A Diego Maradonna - a very nasty 5 footer
  
  A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read
  
  A Rio Ferdinand - Lipped out
  
  A Rock Hudson - thought it was straight, but it wasn't
  
  A Cuban - needs one more revolution
  
  An Adolf Hitler - two shots in the bunker
  
  A Yasser Arafat - ugly and in the sand
  
  A Kate Winslett - a bit fat but otherwise perfect
  
  A Kate Moss - bit thin
  
  A Gerry Adams - playing a Provisional
  
  A Rodney King - over-clubbed
  
  An O. J. Simpson - got away with it
  
  A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver
  
  A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver
  
  A Ladyboy - looks like an easy hole but all is not what it seems
  
  A condom - safe but didn't feel real good
  
  A circus tent - a BIG top
  
  An Anna Kournikova - looks great, but unlikely to get a result
  
  A Vinnie Jones - nasty kick when you're not expecting it
  
  A Ryanair - flies well but lands a long way from the target

   

• trengoff 128 Posts

  Fri, Mar 29 2013 8:49 AM

  lool Gerry ...

  WGT : Modern Myths and Legends

  a, ... Was the free gift golf bag, really a 'trojan horse' containing VEM? .. or .. Merely a reptilian entity able to change colour and size?

  b, ...Does Bigfoot really exist? ... With breaking evidence of half digested golf balls being found in *** at Bethpage?

  c, ...Is it really wise to sacrifice a (cheap) ball into the water, (after a purchase) to appease the VEM gods?

  d, ...Do 'voodoo dolls' really work on opponents in game play?

  e, ...Are the whispers of "Nessie the lakeness monster" real? .. or is it a large overfed catfish?

  *disclaimer - these are not necessary the opinions of the publisher  *happy easter all