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Joke

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Sun, May 26 2013 5:29 AM (2 replies)
  • Steve2golf
    930 Posts
    Sun, May 26 2013 3:02 AM

    A golfer has been slicing off the tee on every hole. He asks his Irish caddy if he has noticed any obvious reasons for his poor tee shots, to which the caddy replies,

    "Aye, there's a piece of $hit on the end of your driver."

    The golfer picks up his driver and cleans the clubface, at which point the caddy says:

    "No, the other end."

  • nickuk
    967 Posts
    Sun, May 26 2013 5:22 AM

    A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie on the second. On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole-in-one when his cell phone rang.

    It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU.

    The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was and that the he'd be there as soon as possible. As he hung up he realized he was leaving what was shaping up to be his best ever round of golf. He decided to get in a couple of more holes before heading to the hospital. He ended up playing all eighteen, finishing his round shooting a personal best 61, shattering the club record by five strokes and beating his previous best game by more than 10. He was jubilant.... Then he remembered his wife.

    Feeling guilty he dashed to the hospital. He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife's condition.

    The doctor glared at him and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your round of golf didn't you!"

    "I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself at the country club your wife has been languishing in the ICU! It's just as well you went ahead and finished that round because it will be more than likely your last! For the rest of her life she will require round the clock care, and you will be her care giver!"

    The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed.

    The doctor snickered and said, "I'm just messing with you. She's dead. What'd you shoot?"

  • Mushy01
    2,567 Posts
    Sun, May 26 2013 5:29 AM

    SIGN POSTED AT LOCAL GOLF CLUB:

     

    1. Back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart.
    2. Form a loose grip.
    3. Keep your head down!
    5. Stay out of the water.
    6. Try not to hit anyone.
    7. If you are taking too long, let others go ahead of you
    8. Don't stand directly in front of others.
    9. Quiet please...while others are preparing.
    10. Don't take extra strokes.
    Well done... Now, flush the urinal, go outside, and tee off.

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