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IMPROTANT HARIBO NEWS U CAN USE

Wed, Jan 15 2014 9:43 AM (8 replies)
  • YancyCan
    3,027 Posts
    Tue, Jan 14 2014 9:05 PM

    Hello Friends
    I know a lot of us here all up on the WGT enjoy our Haribo's & such.
    Haribo has introduced a new sugar-free version of their gummi bears & the reviews on Amazon speak of unfortunate circumstances when eating these! Here be a sample from this link here:  http://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Gummy-Candy-Sugarless-5-Pound/product-reviews/B000EVQWKC

    Oh man...words cannot express what happened to me after eating these. The Gummi Bear "Cleanse". If you are someone that can tolerate the sugar substitute, enjoy. If you are like the dozens of people that tried my order, RUN!

    First of all, for taste I would rate these a 5. So good. Soft, true-to-taste fruit flavors like the sugar variety...I was a happy camper.

    BUT (or should I say BUTT), not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I've had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me.

    Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell...the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I couldn't stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors.

    But wait; there's more. What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM. It was actually a bit humorous (for a nanosecond)as it was just beyond anything I could imagine possible.

    AND IT WENT ON FOR HOURS.

    I felt violated when it was over, which I think might have been sometime in the early morning of the next day. There was stuff coming out of me that I ate at my wedding in 2005.

    I had FIVE POUNDS of these innocent-looking delicious-tasting HELLBEARS so I told a friend about what happened to me, thinking it HAD to be some type of sensitivity I had to the sugar substitute, and in spite of my warnings and graphic descriptions, she decided to take her chances and take them off my hands.

    Silly woman. All of the same for her, and a phone call from her while on the toilet (because you kinda end up living in the bathroom for a spell) telling me she really wished she would have listened. I think she was crying.

    Her sister was skeptical and suspected that we were exaggerating. She took them to work, since there was still 99% of a 5 pound bag left. She works for a construction company, where there are builders, roofers, house painters, landscapers, etc. Lots of people who generally have limited access to toilets on a given day. I can't imagine where all of those poor men (and women) pooped that day. I keep envisioning men on roofs, crossing their legs and trying to decide if they can make it down the ladder, or if they should just jump.

    If you order these, best of luck to you. And please, don't post a video review during the aftershocks.

    Thought everyone all up here should know about this.
    Sincerely, I am Yancy

  • adeypa
    1,151 Posts
    Wed, Jan 15 2014 4:01 AM

    That's pure comedy gold, funny as f**k !

  • drmoose
    3,538 Posts
    Wed, Jan 15 2014 5:20 AM

    Lol! Given your normal proclivity towards understatement, one can only imagine how horrific it must have actually been, Mr. Ambassador.

    Doc :)

  • frappefort
    3,994 Posts
    Wed, Jan 15 2014 5:32 AM

    lmao ,  Yancy  ......     i wonder if we have HARIBO up here in Canada......    Or if the aliens  have camouflage   some sort of candy made out of old HARIBO because many  up here walk funny  since a little while?.......  Geezz   that smell again  cant  talk no more .  Frapp

  • renniw52
    5,385 Posts
    Wed, Jan 15 2014 6:54 AM

    My old friend Yancy, you poor poor man. The details of your horrific experience lead me to believe you may be laying on the table in the next episode of Bones. You need to contact your local Water Authority immediately. Consider this a Public Service to prevent a major epidemic. 

  • chuddlymccannon
    298 Posts
    Wed, Jan 15 2014 7:16 AM

    EPIC

  • andyson
    6,415 Posts
    Wed, Jan 15 2014 7:20 AM

    I hope the people on my blocked list enjoy them.

  • filmslayer
    2,340 Posts
    Wed, Jan 15 2014 7:45 AM

    lmao !!!

  • YancyCan
    3,027 Posts
    Wed, Jan 15 2014 9:43 AM

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