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CC vs CC Event

Wed, Mar 14 2018 5:17 AM (977 replies)
  • siggipj76
    2,989 Posts
    Fri, Oct 17 2014 8:27 PM

    Ok I guess that was a joke , 

    name your ball I and will send it too you.

    Sent the one you have! 

  • MBaggese
    15,367 Posts
    Fri, Oct 17 2014 8:32 PM

    rollone:

    siggipj76:

    Looks like I am camping here !

    So let's make it a cozy(hyggeligt)  one.

    A sleeve to the one with the first good joke ! 

     

    Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. "JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ***!" The Teacher fainted.

    Winner winner...I think I wet myself!

  • siggipj76
    2,989 Posts
    Fri, Oct 17 2014 8:40 PM

     

    Rollone wins a sleeve of choice

    Time for a second one ! 

    2nd  good joke wins a sleeve

     

  • TopShelf2010
    10,932 Posts
    Fri, Oct 17 2014 8:41 PM

    .

  • Romax
    1,876 Posts
    Fri, Oct 17 2014 8:49 PM

    Hahahahaha....Great joke rollone. I'll take a shot at this, but don't need any balls.

    I have 2 black eyes and a broken nose and a fat lip. I was in an elevator on Wed. when a beautiful chick with big hooters stepped in at the last second. She said " push 1 please"...so I did. I don't remember much after that.        ;)

  • TheDuckinator
    1,691 Posts
    Fri, Oct 17 2014 8:51 PM

    delete

  • siggipj76
    2,989 Posts
    Fri, Oct 17 2014 8:56 PM

    Romax:

    Hahahahaha....Great joke rollone. I'll take a shot at this, but don't need any balls.

    I have 2 black eyes and a broken nose and a fat lip. I was in an elevator on Wed. when a beautiful chick with big hooters stepped in at the last second. She said " push 1 please"...so I did. I don't remember much after that.        ;)

    haha , made me laugh , so if you want a sleeve you can have it ! 

  • 1yes1no
    223 Posts
    Fri, Oct 17 2014 8:57 PM

     

    An amnesiac walks into a bar. He goes up to a beautiful blonde and says, “So, do I come here often?”

  • siggipj76
    2,989 Posts
    Fri, Oct 17 2014 9:00 PM

    TheDuckinator:

    siggipj76:

     

    Rollone wins a sleeve of choice

    Time for a second one ! 

    2nd  good joke wins a sleeve

     

    A retired corporate executive, now a widower, decided to take a vacation He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank. He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.

    After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.

    In disbelief, he asks', Where did you come from? How did you get here?' She replies', I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here when my cruise ship sank.' Amazing', he notes.' You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you.' Oh, this thing?' explains the woman. 'I made the boat out of raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree.' 

    'But, where did you get the tools?' Oh, that was no problem', replied the woman.' On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware.' The guy is stunned.

    'Let's row over to my place', she says.

    After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.

    While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually', It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down, please. Would you like a drink?' No! No thank you', he blurts out, still dazed. 'I can't take another drop of coconut juice.' It's not coconut juice', winks the woman. 'I have a still. How would you like a Pina Colada?' Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk.

    After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces', I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the bathroom cabinet.' No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism.

    'This woman is amazing', he muses.' What next?' When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, strategically positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down next to her.

    'Tell me', she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him', We've been out here for many months. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something You've been longing for?' She stares into his eyes.

    He can't believe what he's hearing.' You mean .. ' he swallows excitedly and tears start to form in his eyes.

    'Don't tell me you've built a Golf Course!!!'

    Worst joke ever !! but you win a sleeve !

    He would would have asked can I have a 2nd pina colada first ! 

  • spdemon
    1,588 Posts
    Fri, Oct 17 2014 9:04 PM

    1yes1no:

     

    An amnesiac walks into a bar. He goes up to a beautiful blonde and says, “So, do I come here often?”

    FFS you and Mstroke have to be related lmao 

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