Of course Mr Bullets.(I assume that one pronounces that Bew leys)
I have a bag that WGT saw fit to grace me with very early on,and it be full of free clubs and balls.You are welcome to every single piece of it all save the starter sand wedge,which I use to flick the dogs "Accidents" from the croquet lawn with.I am afraid that true to form,the yardage is somewhat suspect with this club,and I have as yet to notice any backspin,except just one time when I had accidently left a boiled haggis within snout distance of the dog,and he ate it whole.It was unfortunate then that Cook,who is not blessed with the most forgiving of natures,happened to be the second witness to this remarkable feat,as said spoiled haggis(much travelled) arced graceful like across the lawns,just made it over the orchard walls,and grounded at first amongst the sage,and thence,with at least two feets of reverse travel,into the rosemary.I do actually recall having Lambert say he was sorry,but Cook was not only apopletic,but also none too pleased at being the recipient of what it turned out was a rather softened version of the original haggis,which finally gave out all hope of holding itself together as it gently,but with a very distinct "POP!" burst at her bosom,where she was knelt gathering the days herbs.I cautioned Lambert that he should take my punishment like a man and to forego any notion of wheedling,since this only ever serves to anger cook the more,and then it's rolling pin time.
Naturally I exclude the beginner putter also,since I have discovered that this is the Daddy of all putters and can frequently be heard exclaiming "WHO'S YOUR DADDY" when I sink 70+Feets of putt with it.Lambert can often be heard whimpering in his quarters following such putts,I am not sure whether this is connected with my celebration sequence which from time to time has been known to include my running through the halls with my Ramones (I wanna be sedated) Tee shirt pulled backwards over my head,eventually creaming into his door with the instruction to "Follow me and look sharp about it" so that he may witness my achievement several times over via the "Watch Replay" function,so conveniently placed on my screen for such moments of ecstasy.
You may,at your convenience,arrange a carrier and have them bring their cart to the servants entrance,where the bag will be waiting,wrapped neatly in hessian and tied with baler twine for safe keeping.As a point of noblese oblig'e,I ought remind you however,that any gratuity due,should rightly be borne by yourself,in respect of the carrier and his boy.
You may thank me by losing incredibly heavily whenever we play.
Lizzie xx