I few weeks ago, I lost everything. I lost my home. I lost the little
bit of work I had coming in. I'm out of money, out of food, out of time,
and out of my mind.
These last few years have been one traumatic
event after another, from losing my best friends at sea, to finding out I
was unable to donate a kidney to my friend, to going broke and now
impending homelessness.
None of this is any of your damned business and I would have preferred to keep it that way.
My real life is a shambles. It's a trainwreck, and it's nobody's fault but my own.
The reason I disappeared and deleted my friends list is because I
had given up. I told Mike and Lou that it was because I lost my
internet connection, but that was a lie. It was because I'm a failure
and I had lost the will to keep trying. I was going to do the
unthinkable.
Ally, Steve, you asked what I would do to top my "William Wallace" speech. Let's see if this one does the trick...
For
the last year, I have had one bright spot in my life. However stupid it
may sound, WGT and the people who play this game have kept me going.
The
kind words and the enormously moving gestures from the people who took
part in the Legend 400 tournament were what kept me going through one of
the darkest periods in my life.
Jake and Mike were both there for me at the lowest point, and it was their friendship that kept me going.
This
is the one part of my life where I still have an ounce of pride. I've
never asked for anything from anyone here. I have refused countless
offers of generosity because, as a man, I need some pride and this is
the one place where I've done something right.
I helped build this team. I'm proud of this team. I'm proud of being a part of something. I'm proud.
If
you think it's easy for me to announce to whole world what I just
wrote, you're nuts. This is humiliating, but I feel this pride starting
to slip away from me and I don't want to lose it. It's all I have left.
I've never asked anyone here for anything, but now I'm asking you to do something for me. Well, two things actually.
I'm asking this team, my team, to be a team. That includes
you Tuck, and it includes you too Hassan, and it includes everyone else
too, whether you're playing Bollox or sitting on the bench.
I'm asking you to do it for me. Just this once. Please.
...the second thing?
Win. Because if you win, it will be a pleasant experience for you. But for me, it will be the the first win for me in a long time.
Jamil