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When is it too cold for golf?

• borntobesting 9,686 Posts

  Sat, Jan 5 2013 11:12 AM

  I got this in an e-mail from swing to swing golf. Some funny stuff.

  Here are the top ten signs it’s too cold for golf:

  #10… You have to wear the visor with the plaid, woolen ear flaps.

  #09… Even with Mr. Rogers and Martha Stewart in your group, you still don’t feel warm and fuzzy.

  #08… Your hands feel warmer when they touch a witch’s breast.

  #07… When you fell through the ice, you realized taking a divot on a frozen pond wasn’t such a hot idea.

  #06… Your cart sinks when it hits an iceberg.

  #05… It drops below the temperature of an IRS agent’s heart.

  #04… It’s hard to read a putt with Tammy Faye Baker icicles on your eyelashes.

  #03… The greens are groomed by a Zamboni.

  #02… A Woolly Mammoth just walked across the hole.

  And the NUMBER ONE reason it’s too cold for golf:

  #01… Your balls have turned blue.

• 9,041 Posts

  Sat, Jan 5 2013 11:54 AM

  Under 19* C, must be able to get a suntan at the same time.....

• navigater 1,319 Posts

  Sat, Jan 5 2013 12:22 PM

  When you spit and it freezes before it hits the ground.

  Or when you wiz on a tree and you get froze to it

• craigswan 31,575 Posts

  Sat, Jan 5 2013 12:34 PM

  it,s never too cold . your balls just change to orange and your willy disappears .

• renniw52 5,385 Posts

  Sat, Jan 5 2013 12:38 PM

  Great list born. When it's too cold to golf, I make love. Under par is not a good day though. At my age, par is wonderful, over par is unlikely. That's why I golf.

• hpurey 11,505 Posts

  Sat, Jan 5 2013 2:13 PM

  borntobesting:

  When you fell through the ice, you realized taking a divot on a frozen pond wasn’t such a hot idea.

   

  LMBO

   

  great list, but aside from #1 (which is a given)  This one was my fav.  

• hpurey 11,505 Posts

  Mon, Jan 7 2013 5:53 PM

  TTT

• ConfusionMaster 1,653 Posts

  Tue, Jan 8 2013 7:36 PM

  A few from me.

  When a player says  the greens are fast today, it's like putting on ice, you are putting on ice.

  When someone offers you an iced tea, they aren't offering you a drink.

  You don't hit a birdie, you hit a penguin.

  Your Irons won't come out of the clubhouse until they have covers like your woods.

  To repair pitch marks you take a tray of ice cubes with you.

  The abominable snowman is your caddy.

  Your balls have moved up into the unreachable parts of your bag.

  CM

• DDLB 3,441 Posts

  Wed, Jan 9 2013 5:21 AM

  You missed one. When you can't pick up your ball because it is stuck to the ground. True!!

• unclenewy 334 Posts

  Thu, Jan 10 2013 1:20 PM

  funny list.

  When you hit an arrow straight 6 iron, into the heart of the green on a 170yd par 3..............and it bounces 50ft over the trees at the back like you've just hit concrete!!

  Cos that bleeding happened to me once!!

  only good shot I hit all round.