For the record...
I have played alt shot twice with a 30 second timer. The first was purposefully chosen by one of the players, and the other three complained about it most of the game. All four players had timer fouls. The second time, it was chosen by accident, and all four players complained about it, and all 4 players had timer fouls, with both teams losing at least 2 strokes.
For me, 30 seconds is fine for almost all shots. It is not enough time to set up chips or longish putts when neither the front or back view is a straight view.
As to the OP's premise, I believe it accepted fact that anyone that thinks that people that refuse to play with 30 second timers are either cowards or special educations students is actually himself a profound imbecile of the highest order.
I also think that anyone that calls those that refuse to play with a 30 second timer names and then declines to accept Jake's challenge is in fact a coward.