As I approach my six months here on WGT I've been noticing that there's several different types of player. Which are you?
THE GRAFTER - Put this one first because I'm one. The Grafter will play away in a determined way seeking to improve both his/her Tier and Level. He/She (can I just put he from now on otherwise this will get very tedious) will rarely, if ever, bin a round because the XPs are as important as his average. The Grafter will rarely play MPs or AS and is a very solitary figure with few virtual friends.
THE GENIUS - The Genius is just plain too good for the rest of us mere mortals. Hand to eye coordination, course/green/wind reading are second to none. They have probably reached Master Level before most of us have finished logging on and Legend by the time we have finished our first round. Unlike Perfectionists (see below) they are generally very friendly and happy to share their knowledge on forums and during games. They don't play too many games with others though as they get sick of people constantly trying to knock them off their lofty and deserved perch.
THE PERFECTIONIST - This guy is good, make no bones about it, very good. Will do very well in unlimited play rounds. But will rarely beat a Genius. He will abandon every round where it doesn't begin at least birdie birdie. This will often lead to frustration as he will have a great average but not sufficient completed rounds to reach Levels affording him the top equipment. Often mistaken for Re-Starters (see below) because of their averages. Nice guys who get sick of being called cheats
THE SHYSTER - Or Sandbagger/Bagger/Sandy/Total Richard Head. Loves hoovering up RGs and weeklies/monthlies. And taking credits from unsuspecting Legends in Match Play. However they are good players and clever. Just how do they keep their Tiers down? Couldn't give a flying fornicative act that they are universally loathed.
THE RE-STARTER - This guy has either got bored winning everything at Legend and can't be ar*ed to wait for TL Tier, and needs a different challenge, or can't win anything at Legend Tier and feel the need to drop to actually win something. Either way, good. Sometimes very good indeed.
THE SOCIAL - Loves playing with someone, anyone. Loads of friends and very few enemies. Of all abilities perhaps saving Tour Legend - you need too much dedication for that and all those ranked rounds get in the way of enjoying himself. Often a prolific forum poster this guy rarely has a bad word for anyone. Has some very good words indeed for Shysters - none repeatable here.
THE ROBBER - Arguably lower than a Shyster. The Robber will do anything to take credits off others. Most often found on MP waiting for others to log out and so claim the prize. Hopeless in the real world, never been promoted in the workplace and unhappily (if ever) married. No one knows if The Robber is any good as he's yet to complete a round.
THE DING-DONG - The word dong is chosen carefully. Of the XBox/Playstation generation where if you can't do it after two gos look up a cheat online. Rarely if ever any good because they put all their faith in a programme rather than actually learning the game. Invariably short sighted with one arm much bigger than the other.
THE WHINGER - The world is against The Whinger - the WGT world doubly so. Have never got past teenage vocabulary - "It's not fair". Can be very good, good, average or poor. In their own minds though are great. Well would be if it wasn't for WGT being out to get them. Have a lot of friends. Nearly all of them Whingers.
THE NEWBIE - We've all been there. Keen as mustard and totally hooked. For the first week (at least) thinking "How the fek will I ever break par?" A bit like a puppy dog - all enthusiasm but with the control and coordination of the average Groom to be at the end of his Stag/Batchelor party. Only difference is the Newbie is more likely to keep control of his bowels.
THE TIGHTAR*E - The tightar*e joins having read it's a free game. And refuses to ever pay a penny for the pleasure. I'm one of these too. Also known as a Surveytart - will become anything/anyone to do a survey. More aliases than Klaus Barbie* he'll spend hours doing surveys at the approximate hourly rate of three dollars a week.
THE FATHER FIGURE - The Father Figure has been around for ever. Doesn't play anything like as much as he used to though can be seen giving sage advice around the forums. A genuinely nice guy who just hangs around because he loves the overall community. Usually somewhere between Tour Pro and Legend and quite happy with that, thank you very much. To play with a Father Figure is a real honour. No giggling at the back please.
THE MR ALWAYS-RIGHT - Well the name says it all. Usually, but not always, a good player who just has to share his knowledge. Whether asked for or not. Will have lots of friends. Lots and lots. And quite a few enemies. Actually my Wife says She was always looking for Mr Right but never expected to end up with Mr Always Feking Right.
THE MONEY THROWERS - WGTs favourites, the MAX clubs/balls were designed for these guys. Talent optional, cash mandatory. Often found at lower Tiers but with the best equipment money can buy. Never seen playing without a vapour trail. And a bag.
THE GOOD SAMARITAN - The Good Samaritan believes there's good in everyone - and often disappointed. The first to gift to deserving and sometimes not so deserving causes. Invariably happy, great guys who keep a smile on their faces even when ungrateful recipients don't express gratitude. Usually, but not always, good players.
Well that's about it I think. Have I forgotten anyone? As I said, which are you? Please don't nominate anyone else, that could get a tad unpleasant.
*A free sleeve of balls to the first person who gets this reference. Not from me of course as I'm a Tightar*e. Well OK then, a sleeve of WGT's 10c specials.